The airport. Is possibly the worst and best place on earth, simultaneously. It is the ultimate host of awful and expensive food, long lines and just generally too much time with the general public. oh, and zero open windows. But also... the starting point for so many beautiful journeys.
The airport used to invite thrill and girlish anticipation in me, it was an airport after all that brought me halfway around the world all by myself (he he everyone should do it once)...
but tonight the airport felt a little different...a little more threatening... a little more unknown and scary.
For the last 38 days I've been living primarily in my basement (which I converted into a softly lit cave around this time). I venture out occasionally to a coffee shop for my last standing vice and some intellectual chit chat or a poetry reading. I also venture out to work, which for whatever reason I am still doing reasonably well.
Point being... tonight was a big step for me. And all I did was fly from SLC to PHX with my MOM. And I didn't even do anything bizarre until safely inside our little hotel room in Glendale.
blerg. even writing this makes me furious. I used to be fearless.
They say I will be again.
They say it gets better with time.
They say the fact that I'm angry means I've still got some fight in me.
and I am living for what they say.