Wednesday, December 22, 2010

clarity

you know those questions that seem like a joke sometimes? meant for soul searching hippies and 18 yr olds alone? the questions that go something like: who am I? where am I going? why am I here?

I can think of only two times in my life where I had clear and concise answers to those questions. Both times my clarity came unsolicited and lasted little more than 2 minutes. both times my clarity spurred enormous life changes.

well tonight I had a third.

first came two minutes of unreal clarity. then a conscious choice made by my subconscious self. almost like someone was choosing for me, but that was alright since I had allotted them that authority.

the feelings came as a sort of 'well duh Kelsey', but they came with such force that all I could do was stand still, mouth halfway open and a heavy glaze over my eyes. because in that moment I was not seeing, not temporally anyway.

and in that moment there was harmony. pure unadulterated harmony. 

now, enormous life changes have been set in motion as a result.

and all I can really think to say about all this is quite raw...
I never knew such terror and calm could exist simultaneously in one small body.

I'm in for a helluva ride.

1 comment:

  1. I l-o-v-e your blog. You're such an amazing, insightful writer. And this post gave me a bit of butterflies and an "oh yes I remember that" feeling. Very, very excited for you.

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