you know those questions that seem like a joke sometimes? meant for soul searching hippies and 18 yr olds alone? the questions that go something like: who am I? where am I going? why am I here?
I can think of only two times in my life where I had clear and concise answers to those questions. Both times my clarity came unsolicited and lasted little more than 2 minutes. both times my clarity spurred enormous life changes.
well tonight I had a third.
first came two minutes of unreal clarity. then a conscious choice made by my subconscious self. almost like someone was choosing for me, but that was alright since I had allotted them that authority.
the feelings came as a sort of 'well duh Kelsey', but they came with such force that all I could do was stand still, mouth halfway open and a heavy glaze over my eyes. because in that moment I was not seeing, not temporally anyway.
and in that moment there was harmony. pure unadulterated harmony.
now, enormous life changes have been set in motion as a result.
and all I can really think to say about all this is quite raw...
I never knew such terror and calm could exist simultaneously in one small body.
I'm in for a helluva ride.