When I wrote this I mentioned I am doing the work I need to.
I wanted to take a few minutes and elaborate about my team. that's right, my team. the team that has been selected to work with and for me at this time. It's a winning team, and I wanted to tell you a bit about the players.
It consists of a keen lawyer, three unwaivering parental figures, an equipped therapist that believes in me, a body talk therapist with unsurmountable compassion and intuition, a massage therapist with a heart and hands for healing, a bishop with the best intentions, understanding and flexible employers and more than a handful of friends and siblings sticking by my side no matter how nuts I am. oh and the slew of new people in my life, sent specifically to tell me specific things
Although there are days (like today) that feel like being thrown back into the midst of the turmoil I very nearly did not survive... I wanted to mentioned a last player on my team, or maybe he's the coach (by the way, anyone else shocked by all the sports analogy's goin' on lately in this blog?).
He was the genesis of my decision to fight for my life. And I'll tell you what, it has been and continues to be a fight for my life. A fight to want to live it. A fight to want to get up each day and do anything.
He graciously gave me a small taste of life in a time when I was satisfied to either live in my bed, or drive my life promptly into the ground.
He hand picked each of the incredible people listed above to act for him.
He continues to fill my mind and heart with inspiration, love and light when I do nothing to warrant it.
(if you haven't worked it out yet, that He is a collection of my God, his son Jesus Christ, and the spirit that edifies)
I never do it perfectly, I never do enough, I've even found myself working against him in the not to distant past. and this is not feigned humility. It is honest disbelief in my good fortune despite... well... despite life and all the ways it's gotten in my way.
Religious conversations have been something I've gone to great lengths avoiding in the past. Partly because I feel it's sacred and am a great proponent of 'to each, his own' and partly because I had no idea where I really stood in the debate.
But now I know where I stand and I'm openly ready to have that conversation; in hushed tones of respect and reverence, or passionate proclamations and fervent speech.
But I must be clear: I am still a great proponent of 'to each his own'.
All I really hope is that each takes deliberate action to find out what his own is.
This song came on in itunes shuffle while writing and it felt almost too perfect that for the first time I heard the intended meaning of it. I really never thought I'd be posting something like this, but then again, I never thought I would do a lot of things.
And today, I need to fully thank and commend the reason that I've got such a team.