Friday, December 17, 2010

needs and empathy

what a dreary week this blog has had... I apologize for the melodrama...

Or maybe I don't. You see, I've committed myself to documenting my experiences and feelings (good and bad) as honestly as possible. so that is what you'll find here, again and again. up and down





IT IS IN YOUR SELF-INTEREST TO FIND A WAY TO BE VERY TENDER
Jenny Holzer

Being tender seems to be one of the most beautiful capabilities of the human spirit.

I had a conversation this week with an actor friend of mine. it was the common conversation that follows the lines of why do you people do the things they do? We both came to the same conclusion though we said it differently.

I said that when I see a person misbehaving.
I see a hurting person.
He said when he sees a person misbehaving.
He sees a person with unmet needs. 


Side note:
The word sympathy has always felt like a word to measure one another against each other.
A way to pity and condescend someone;
it felt like patronization, that word.

I always liked the word empathy much more. 
because that word feels much more like true compassion and understanding.
Like we're all living this same life, on the same plane.



Our simplified view of the human condition does not excuse the resulting actions of the wounded.

But it does help to keep our hearts soft and full of empathy. and I think that's because if you look hard enough, you can see bits of yourself in each hurting person with unmet needs behaving in ways that from a first look seem incomprehensible and vile. and you can actually feel for the pain someone must be in to behave 'that way'. 



These are some of the simple thoughts that keep me from acting out in retribution. 
Yes, I am referring the current theme of my blog and what happened to me.
However,
I haven't pursued it further than my police sketch, and don't plan to.
So don't bother asking. 

I know it will be sorted out in it's own way, call it karma or the final judgement, it's just really not my concern anymore. 


Finally, thanks to Meg over at the wild and wily ways of a brunette bombshell.  for quoting me and for sharing that video at the same time. The earnest way that the line "lord have mercy on my rough and rowdy ways" is delivered in that video inspired this post, through and through. 





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