It's raining here. it's cold but i went outside anyway and let the rain fall all over me. i laid down on the concrete and looked up as drops of water hit my face, causing me to flinch and smile. i haven't felt this good outside in so many months, particularly in the rain...
It's been explained to me that maybe i've hit the depressed stage of dealing with what happened.. could be.. i'm trying not to analyze it too much. just trying to search for some joy in some places that i've found it before and also... doing my best to stay engaged in day-to-day life.
as hard as it is for me to square what happened with an omnipotent being and His love for me, it does seem that the right people show up at the right time on his errand to give me love, and for that I am thankful.
For example: a dear friend took me dream catcher shopping this week. You see, mine was broken on the long journey from Morocco to England to Las Vegas to Utah. :( and this friend pointed out that maybe the broken dream catcher is not catching my nightmares effectively. I agreed.
My new one looks something like this with more beads... it seems to be doing the trick so far.