Friday, May 27, 2011

How yoga saved my life

i could tell you about the community of yogis i am a part of that so lovingly supports me. or i could tell you how yoga makes me stronger and softer in one smooth motion. i could tell you how much joy and patience i find in practicing.

but that all feels a little cliche, a little scripted, and a little facade-y. and i mean to i'll say this instead:

yoga teaches me to push my limits and respect my boundaries.

i know how to breathe through the kind of discomfort that comes with change, and i know how to back off when i'm doing myself damage, and i know how to tell the difference for me. and i wouldn't know any of that without yoga.

one of the hard things about... well... about anything... is that we are all designed, sculpted and conditioned so individually. which means, when it comes to answering questions about how to live/eat/worship etc., you're the only one that can fully answer them.

sometimes things happen that really throw you off kilter. they scatter your beliefs and disturb your ability to connect with yourself. this was one of those for me. i forgot how to answer my own questions. i completely lost touch with my body and my spirit. i even stopped practicing yoga for a while.

when i say yoga saved my life, i really mean it. mere weeks after the fact i stood on a ledge...and when i recieved repurcussions for my destructive behavior, it didn't sit well with my knowledge of who i am. and then i made some slow and painful changes. (here's when i realized it if you need help piecing this vague info together).

so nowadays, as i flit from therapist to doctor to friends and back again, those people become my mirror and it becomes more and more clear...

i am going to be OK.

and that's largely due to yoga and the self knowledge it has perpetuated in my being.

so while there continue to be dips and spikes in the line graph that is my eternal progression, consider this my cosmic thank you to the universe (or God, if you will) for yoga, and how it saved my life.

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