Monday, May 16, 2011

thoughts from our nation's capitol

I tagged along on my mom's business trip to Washington DC this past week. Partially because I haven't been there since I was a kid and partially because my mom is still a bit scared to leave me on my own (I don't really blame her)

Overall, I'd call it a successful trip.. some photo's for your viewing pleasure..




as you can see i wasn't really at my finest this trip. but more on that tomorrow because i'm not feeling extremely honest tonight and what i have to say about this trip requires blunt honesty in order to resonate. 

for today i'll just share a short story about my new found social awkwardness. i hope it makes you giggle. it made me want to cry.



i found myself wandering alone in old town Alexandria Thursday morning after an oh-so-lovely yoga class at a local studio. meandering in and out of antique furniture shops, i was starting to feel at ease in this foreign setting. blessed with the lightness of after yoga prana and that fearlessness a good sunshiny day can give you, everything felt lovely...
until.... i happened upon a midwifery clinic.

i should pause to give some background here. i've been on a bit of a maternal/feminine/empty-womb/ithinkilikekidsnow kick as of late (i mention it here). i am particularly fascinated with all the natural birthing options. i.e. midwives and doula's. 

back to my story. i see this midwife clinic and naively think i'll just go in and see if they've got some pamphlets about why you should use a midwife versus a doctor (why should you?!), or maybe talking about some mothers that had lovely experiences with their midwifes.

no. turns out midwife clinics are not places you can casually wander in and out of like you're window shopping "maybe I'll get a midwife today..."

so i walk in and immediately get trapped into a conversation with a grumpy receptionist in a very unfriendly looking waiting room full of pregnant ladies. and zero pamphlets. shit.

i mumble something awkward about maybe being kind of interested in finding out more about the possibilities of midwifery, blah, blah, blah. she misinterprets. or possibly i am so uncomfortable at this point that i am unclear. in any case, she assumed i was pregnant and i allowed her to because by the time i realized it it felt too late.

"when are you due?
"um... i don't know" (what month is it?!?! when is 9 months from now"
"when was the first day of your last mentrual period?"
"um... i'm not sure" (trying to do math in my head... how long does it take to know you're pregnant?!)
"ok.. well lets set up an appointment and the midwife can help you figure all this out.. what is your address?"
"um.... I don't know... I'm new here"
"ok..why don't you come in tomorrow at 3 and we'll figure this all out" (bless this woman's soul)

i hurriedly gave her the wrong number and scampered out. i can only assume i appeared a scared, newly unplanned pregnant, very young, girl. deer in head lights is how i'd describe my end of things.

lesson learned. just like you shouldn't walk into planned parenthood to find out about contraception options, don't walk into a midwife clinic for pamphlets. they don't hand them out.

fail. monumental fail. catastrophic fail. i then hid in my hotel room for several hours.

the end. 

3 comments:

  1. hhahahaha i'm just read this out loud to cole and died again. i love this story. haha

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  2. yes, it did make me giggle! only you kelsey. wish i coulda seen what you were wearing ;)

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  3. i pretty much think that midwife exchange is the best thing i've read in a while. so hilarious...

    p.s. i'll follow your blog if you follow mine :)

    ReplyDelete

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