Sunday, September 25, 2011

do not start with me

everything seems worse when sick.
and when everything is at its hardest, i usually get sick.

welcome to the travelling cold. it has lived up and down my body all week. ouch.

it's been a quiet week here on the blog. let me just say that it's not for lack of care or topic. In fact i began several really dumb posts this week. I thought about telling you all about my new BFF professor, or seeing Mary Poppins, or being carried across wet tar in the arms of a friendly construction man.

but now that my audience is more knowable and hand selected (you're welcome you lucky people), all that seems trite. and also, i already told most of you all of that.

so instead, in an effort to begin molding this space into what it will heretofore be for me, an update on some of the things i may not have told you:

first, a little nod to the universe (i.e. God). Thank you. i was pretty confused at first but now i get it.

second, i wouldn't go back to being 18 year old me for anything. not even unlimited goldfish. or an allotted nap time the rest of my life. or unlimited funds at jcrew. or a beautiful library with the best cushions and throws to lounge on. and those are all things i really really want.

third, occasionally something happens in me that turns me into a force to be reckoned with. this week i went through my childhood memorabilia to make more space in the garage and found a lovely little trinket that used to live on my wall. it reads:

"do not start with me, you will not win"

something of a mantra in my earlier years. i think i'm accurate in saying that time, coupled with some very humbling moments have mellowed me some.

but i also think i'm accurate in saying that that fire is not gone. and for whatever reason, i'm back full force, trying to figure out how to channel (corale might be a better word here) it all for the greater good.

wish me luck?

1 comment:

  1. good luck! i like this whole private blog thing. and i'm feeling lucky to be a reader!


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