Tuesday, July 3, 2012


Well. It's all over (or just beginning, I suppose). Nothing left to you but say thank you until our throats run dry.

Today is our first day back from our honeymoon in the NorthWest. It was wonderful, by the way (minus the ticket we got on the way home...). Beautiful actually. We both feel that someday that area of the country could really be home. We spent the bulk of our time in Whistler, BC. Which was breathtaking and the perfect rest from the Utah heat.

We hiked a lot and cooked a lot and just generally relaxed. It took several days to decompress after the show that is a wedding. And now we're just settling into the rhythm that is our marriage. He cooks, I pay bills, we both make decisions. Of course this little rhythm that we're enjoying so much is about to be disrupted again. But alas-that is the life of a 20 something I suppose.

After ten days here to pack up and say goodbye to dear friends and happy places, we will head east to Urbana, Illinois.

We signed our lease today. This may sound strange, but it's the first real thing like that either of us has ever signed. In Provo, they don't ask for references or anything, so applying to apartments in the real world was an experience for us. But we found an amazing place: hard wood floors, a garage, a washer and dryer! Of course, we haven't seen it yet so I'll keep you posted on whether or not we got tricked. ;)

I signed as Kelsey Bourgeois. I haven't officially changed my name yet; I'm waiting to be in Illinois so I can get new driver's licence, etc., in that state. And I have been getting used to that name for a while now... but the signature is still off and I have to admit I'm having slight withdrawals from Hannon. Not because I was particularly fond of Hannon, but because of what Bourgeois means. I am now a wife, I am a partner, I am on a team. And if I'm really being honest- that scares me. I know some other wives, and I have some ideas about what that idea means or whatever, but I found out 4 days into the honeymoon when I am freaking out because I've told Isaac I don't want onion and I think I've broken his heart and I'm not what he wanted and and and....

Yes, I flipped over onion. He wanted to make it for dinner and I didn't. And although Isaac and I have been eating most of our meals together for months now, I was seriously concerned that now he was stuck with me and I didn't want onion, he'd change his mind. Sometimes I don't want onion. Most of the time I do, but sometimes I don't. And it all comes down to these bizarre expectations. Expectations that Isaac has never set for me. I sincerely think he doesn't have them! He's committed to being present and experiencing life together, and all the yogic things that I'm supposed to be about, and I'm crying in a supermarket in Canada over an onion.

I eventually calmed down and he convinced me, yet again, that we are in this together and that it doesn't have to look any certain way. I believe him. I really do. We even have all kinds of progressive ideas about breaking the rules of traditional marriage and letting him stay home with the kids or other such things our parents might say are absurd! But I guess those are expectations too...

Someday I will be brave enough (and with Isaac's permission) to discuss sex and expectations there. Before you get worried, just know this would not be an expose of my husband's chauvinism, but rather a highlight of how having been raped does change things in that realm and I have found someone who understands and honors that.

After signing our lease today, we finished opening all our wedding gifts. All I can say is people must really like our parents (and us too!). We cleaned up. Is that vulgar to say? It's how I feel. Over the last few months as gifts have come in we have found ourselves crying as people we know don't have much give so much and others who have lots give lots. And every single gift has made a special entrance into our marriage. They are all little good-luck trinkets. I like the ones from the already married people a lot because they seem to know something we don't and it's like "you're going to need this, trust us" or something. Even when it's a crockpot I feel that. I feel so much love. We feel so much love.

I don't know what we did exactly to deserve such a beautiful wedding day and such generous gifts to help us get started, but it's really got me thinking. How do we know so many amazing people? When did we meet all of them? We're so young!!! And the kind of love that has been and continues to be shown to us as a couple is astounding, so now I'm off to write thank you's. To gush the best way I know how about the friend who stayed cleaning until only the moms were left standing and my brother that cleaned up kid throw up, and my estranged family members that hugged, and Isaac's brother who sang, and our friend who chauffeured and fed us, the cousins who set up, the in-laws who rangled kids for pictures, the photographers! The list is never ending.

 It was, truly, the best day of my life.

(photo by Tracy Hill)


  1. Ah, such a beautiful couple! Congratulations forever and ever. <3

  2. This post made me tear up. I am so proud of you.


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