Monday, September 10, 2012

first world problems

Being new is hard. I don't know where to buy things or get my oil changed or which doctor to see or.. or..

I know. first world problems. get some perspective, Kelsey.

But you all are friends so I can say here honestly: it is really stressful when every time you leave your house you seem to get stuck on a one way street that takes you in a circle (U of I campus...) and that you don't quite get the midwest social thing yet so you end up saying dorky, chipper things. 

these are not insurmountable problems. i surmount them everyday. it just takes a lot more energy than I'm used to spending on things I would list under "being human". 

I mentioned last post that I'm learning to wrap my head around being a "housewife". But he's what I realized: I am not a housewife, not unless I want to be. I am Kelsey, I am a yoga instructor, I am a female advocate, I am a wife and I do have a house to keep.

I was glad that when Isaac had a little time this weekend he did the dishes. Not because doing the dishes is hard for me, but because he had time and he realizes that that isn't necessarily my job, it's just something I do more currently since he is busier than me. You see "doing dishes" is something I would list under "being human". As in, if I didn't exist Isaac would be doing his own dishes anyway.

We have also figured out a way to "share" the burden (blessing?) of my high maintenance reproductive system. In reality, we can't share it. I have endometriosis and ovarian cysts and my periods really hurt. like really fucking hurt. last one I didn't sleep one night and it helps to know that when my little baby making parts are making me miserable, not only do I have a partner who sympathizes, but one who tried to empathize and then ease the pain. I woke him up at 5 AM last week to hold me and he did it without a second thought. And when it comes time to take my birth control (and we both know since it's very important to us and also an alarm on my phone goes off), he fetches it for me. In these very small ways, Isaac acknowledges the fact that some of this stuff he can't do for me or in partnership with me. He also recognizes that the whole reason I don't just get everything taken out now (believe me, I've considered it), is because I want to have child(ren) someday, and that that's his responsibility too.

Ok enough about the struggles of being happily married in a great new town where I can actually afford a doctor's visit and a few hours a day with my nose in a book.

what am I going to do with all this?!

A podcast I think. A discussion from females about being female. Because so far in my feminist awakening journey the thing that has bothered me most is that the world and the way we view it and talk about is through male eyes. We can't even begin to touch the issues of inequality if everything is still being filtered through a lens that is masculine in nature, especially because there are equally limiting stereotypes and expectations put on the male experience. So I am going to have this discussion, and I'm going to record it so anyone else who might be interested can have this discussion too.

The podcast which is tentatively being called "gender gap" is underway. The mission statement is written and several interviews lined up. Now if I could only figure out how to put these recording on the internet... seriously. I'm struggling. anyone know anything about this? 


  1. oh i feel you in so many ways. being new is draining. but as you said, first world problems...

    i wish i knew how to get your podcast online. mike's cousin did one a while back so she might have some insight. i can tap her brain if you need me to.

    all the best setting up and getting settled!


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